“FREEZE!” I will never forget hearing that word, five months ago today, as I stood in front of a friend’s house in south city St. Louis, while trying to pop the hood to a van. I had been up for four or five days, and had just done a gram shot of Ice about an […]
“LET THEM DIE.” “WHY ARE WE CALLING 911.” “THEY ARE JUST A USELESS JUNKIE.” “THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE.” “WHAT A WASTE.” The above sayings are all things I have read and heard in regards to addicts who have overdosed or those of whom are living in active addiction, in general. These are not the only […]
It’s hard to explain to people on the outside what it’s like being the parent of a child in active addiction. I hope that this reaches someone that needs to see they aren’t alone with all the emotions. Sometimes us parents, especially mothers I feel, get criticism for having a child with substance abuse disorder. […]
While in active addiction, I found that I happened to have my hand out, a lot. I have always held to the ideal that closed mouths don’t get fed, which is true. As an addict, I exploited that saying to the point it was like beating that dead horse. In my addict mindset, I found […]
Happy Thursday! Today’s Just for Today reading touches on anxiety. One of three definitions of anxiety, according to Google, is as follows: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome Anxiety is something that has affected me personally for several years now. I have had anxiety […]
Whenever you make the decision to enter into recovery, you are often asked why you made the decision to get clean. Answers come in various forms, such as for the kids, because I have to go or went to jail, I can’t afford it, etc. One answer most people shy away from is that they […]
MUSIC IS LIFE Music. To some people it is simply something used as white noise, a way to drown out the silence that we sometimes find ourselves in. To others, such as myself, it is life. Ever since I was a kid, music has been a staple in my life. My dad got a job […]
How the hell are these two things related you are likely asking yourself. Allow me to explain. It makes sense in the end, I promise. From about December of 2015, when I first realized my other half, my Sunshine, was on heroin until October of 2016, a lot of thoughts and emotions raced through my […]
Yes, because addiction changes the brain in fundamental ways, disturbing a person’s normal hierarchy of needs and desires and substituting new priorities connected with procuring and using the drug. The resulting compulsive behaviors that override the ability to control impulses despite the consequences are similar to hallmarks of other mental illnesses. In fact, the DSM, […]
This year hasn’t been an easy one for Billie Lourd, who, right before ringing in 2017, suffered two major losses: the death of her mother, 60-year-old actress Carrie Fisher, and her grandmother, 84-year-old actress Debbie Reynolds. Now the Associated Press has reported that the precise cause of Fisher’s untimely passing could not be determined. The […]