As my 9-month clean date on August 8th approaches, I have found myself reflecting on the amazing life that I have started to build, thanks to my recovery. It hasn’t always been easy but looking back at my journey so far, it has all been worth it. When I was first released from jail and […]
“FREEZE!” I will never forget hearing that word, five months ago today, as I stood in front of a friend’s house in south city St. Louis, while trying to pop the hood to a van. I had been up for four or five days, and had just done a gram shot of Ice about an […]
“LET THEM DIE.” “WHY ARE WE CALLING 911.” “THEY ARE JUST A USELESS JUNKIE.” “THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE.” “WHAT A WASTE.” The above sayings are all things I have read and heard in regards to addicts who have overdosed or those of whom are living in active addiction, in general. These are not the only […]
While in active addiction, I found that I happened to have my hand out, a lot. I have always held to the ideal that closed mouths don’t get fed, which is true. As an addict, I exploited that saying to the point it was like beating that dead horse. In my addict mindset, I found […]
Happy Thursday! Today’s Just for Today reading touches on anxiety. One of three definitions of anxiety, according to Google, is as follows: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome Anxiety is something that has affected me personally for several years now. I have had anxiety […]
Whenever you make the decision to enter into recovery, you are often asked why you made the decision to get clean. Answers come in various forms, such as for the kids, because I have to go or went to jail, I can’t afford it, etc. One answer most people shy away from is that they […]
MUSIC IS LIFE Music. To some people it is simply something used as white noise, a way to drown out the silence that we sometimes find ourselves in. To others, such as myself, it is life. Ever since I was a kid, music has been a staple in my life. My dad got a job […]
How the hell are these two things related you are likely asking yourself. Allow me to explain. It makes sense in the end, I promise. From about December of 2015, when I first realized my other half, my Sunshine, was on heroin until October of 2016, a lot of thoughts and emotions raced through my […]
“Even if you are a person who isn’t able to see the pain addiction causes an individual who becomes a slave to a drug that is SO difficult to overcome, surely you can empathize with her family; the innocent children, her husband who didn’t sign up for this, her elderly mother who’s health is in jeopardy, and a family that has been ripped apart due to the fighting. Surely you can see that every individual addicted affects YOU in some way when you really break it down.”
What is truth? Everyone seems to be seeking it, especially in others, so let’s start with the factual definition, shall we? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (Noah Webster may be a distant relative of mine so I’m kind of famous. You should listen to me, just sayin’), the definition is as follows: TRUTH: 1: a […]
MENU The First Rule of Recovery You don’t recover from an addiction by stopping using. You recover by creating a new life where it is easier to not use. If you don’t create a new life, then all the factors that brought you to your addiction will eventually catch up with you again. You don’t […]
ROCHESTER, N.H. — Drug dealers play a major role in the opioid crisis facing the state, and in addition to supplying the substances being abused, they are often struggling with addiction themselves. Elizabeth Atwood said she knows firsthand about the downward spiral of substance abuse. "I don’t know when it happened. I think it started […]