This word, judgment, is something that we encounter DAILY in life, whether anyone is an addict or not. No matter what you do in life, there will ALWAYS be people who judge you. You can have your whole life together and people will still choose to find something wrong with you. They will choose to […]
As my 9-month clean date on August 8th approaches, I have found myself reflecting on the amazing life that I have started to build, thanks to my recovery. It hasn’t always been easy but looking back at my journey so far, it has all been worth it. When I was first released from jail and […]
“FREEZE!” I will never forget hearing that word, five months ago today, as I stood in front of a friend’s house in south city St. Louis, while trying to pop the hood to a van. I had been up for four or five days, and had just done a gram shot of Ice about an […]
“LET THEM DIE.” “WHY ARE WE CALLING 911.” “THEY ARE JUST A USELESS JUNKIE.” “THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE.” “WHAT A WASTE.” The above sayings are all things I have read and heard in regards to addicts who have overdosed or those of whom are living in active addiction, in general. These are not the only […]
While in active addiction, I found that I happened to have my hand out, a lot. I have always held to the ideal that closed mouths don’t get fed, which is true. As an addict, I exploited that saying to the point it was like beating that dead horse. In my addict mindset, I found […]
Happy Thursday! Today’s Just for Today reading touches on anxiety. One of three definitions of anxiety, according to Google, is as follows: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome Anxiety is something that has affected me personally for several years now. I have had anxiety […]
Whenever you make the decision to enter into recovery, you are often asked why you made the decision to get clean. Answers come in various forms, such as for the kids, because I have to go or went to jail, I can’t afford it, etc. One answer most people shy away from is that they […]
MUSIC IS LIFE Music. To some people it is simply something used as white noise, a way to drown out the silence that we sometimes find ourselves in. To others, such as myself, it is life. Ever since I was a kid, music has been a staple in my life. My dad got a job […]
How the hell are these two things related you are likely asking yourself. Allow me to explain. It makes sense in the end, I promise. From about December of 2015, when I first realized my other half, my Sunshine, was on heroin until October of 2016, a lot of thoughts and emotions raced through my […]
I was up last night and for some reason reading old posts from a support group I was in while my daughter (who’s now 15 months clean) was actively using. It’s funny how when reading them, they brought me immediately back to when my first love, my Sunshine, was still lost. All the emotions flood […]
I’ve used the term “Addict Zombie” before, and I continue to because it’s the best way I can really think of to describe what I watched heroin do to my daughter, and what I continue to see it do to others. It’s so similar to the pop culture depictions, it’s uncanny. It’s starts as an […]