Thu. Mar 4th, 2021

Seeing Life Through My Eyes Because I’m an Addict

You would struggle seeing life through my eyes. I live every single day trying to simply get high just one more time. The next high will be enough. I know it won’t happen, but the drug tells me it still can. The drugs tell me that there is another high out there like my first one. I’m no idiot, and I know it won’t happen. However, I can’t stop using. No matter how many times I’ve tried, I always fall short. So, here I sit, living a life that I’m ashamed of because I’m too weak to get out.

What a Day is Like Seeing Life Through My Eyes

 

Seeing Life Through My Eyes Because I’m an Addict

 

When I open my eyes, I see that I’m not where I remember closing my eyes. I don’t worry, because to me, this is normal. Someone probably got me high and drunk, and convinced me during a blackout to go back to their place for more drugs. It’s not like I could ever get pregnant from it, so who cares. I’ll be too high to care about it in a few minutes anyway. I see this as an opportunity to see what’s valuable around me. Maybe there’s a few things I can sell to get high again. If I’m really lucky, there will still be whatever drugs we used last night somewhere, too. Double-win! I get up, ransack the place, and leave with the valuables I could find. My clothes are full of holes, but I don’t care. I couldn’t tell you what week I changed them last. I am pretty sure I showered at the bus station about a week ago, maybe. No one cares if I smell or only have a few teeth left. I’m good for getting high and being a fun ‘date’. It pays for my drugs, so I let it keep going. If my family were to see me, they’d be ashamed, but they won’t see me. They stopped trying to find me years ago. It’s just me now.

Every Day is the Same When Seeing Life Through My Eyes

 

Each day I wake up, I go through the same basic routine. I take what I can, get as high as I can, and try to forget. That’s how I live. I know if I try to get sober again, I’ll fail. My mind tells me so, and so do my friends. This is what you get when seeing life through my eyes. Are you ready to live this life?

 

 

 

 

View the original article:

https://www.addictionnetwork.com/blog/seeing-life-eyes-im-addict/

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