In the distance, there are the familiar sounds of raised voices—two, maybe three. They are arguing…“No—wait—please. I just want to talk!” Then…“Just leave me alone—you don’t know anything—I don’t want to talk about it!” Followed by the inevitable slamming of the door…silence…and the muffled cries of the one left behind.
There is no single, tried-and-true method to starting a conversation with someone caught up in the throes of addiction. What you can bank on is that you are not alone, and it is time to start talking about addiction.
Just keep in mind, when confronted, a person with an addiction may react negatively, even with hostility, if they perceive you are judging them “negatively.” Also, contrary to what many believe, addiction/mental health problems do not all stem from the parents.
Knowing the Facts About Addiction
It is important to arm yourself with information. This will provide a measure of self-confidence as you approach the individual. Having facts will also re-enforce the reasoning behind your desire to talk about addiction.
- In 2015, over 50,000 deaths were attributed to drug overdose.
- Recent statistics reflect approximately 91 U.S. citizens die every day, from an opioid-related overdose.
- Approximately 15 million people in the U.S. abuse prescription drugs.
- On average, over 650,000 prescriptions of opioids are dispensed daily in the U.S.
Also, it is crucial to understand what happens with the brain after repeated drug use; it literally changes, basically remaps, the brain, particularly the areas of the brain that provide individual self-control.
The changes in the brain can cause the person to truly believe they need the drug more than eating or sleeping.
This is also why an addicted individual’s behavior can change so dramatically—from responsible, loving, and considerate to lying, stealing, angry, and hurtful.
Clinical Director of the Professional Women’s Program & Equine Therapy, Dr. Tamara Roth, PhD, LPC/MHSP offers this vital information regarding some of the Do’s and Don’ts when starting a conversation with someone about addiction:
- Be compassionate. Realize that your loved one has not chosen to be an addict, and they are probably as scared as you (even if they don’t show it).
- Use “I” statements. For example: “I feel scared when you…” this can help prevent them from being overly defensive.
- Consider seeing a professional counselor to help you talk through your fears and concerns.
- Attend Al-Anon meetings. Finding other people who are further along the path can be a great source of support.
- Be willing to look at your own issues and how you may be contributing to the pattern.
- Take it personally.
- Shame, blame or, belittle your loved one.
- Try to control your loved one.
- Enable their behavior. Learn the difference between being supportive and enabling.
- Wait to get help. If you think there is a problem, there most likely is. Addicts are great at minimizing and justifying their use.
Countless times, experts in the field of Addiction Therapy express the need to seek out professional guidance for anyone who is worried that their loved one is struggling with addiction.
Professionals in the field are trained at determining the signs and symptoms of addiction, and they can be of great assistance in determining the reality of the situation. Your conversation will be held in the utmost of confidence.
It could be that the best action to take, rather than trying to talk one-on-one with a friend or loved one struggling with addiction, is to perform an intervention. Though this may feel like you are taking drastic action, it also provides a level of support beyond one-on-one contact.
Again, before taking this step, it is essential to speak with a professional before attempting an intervention on your own.
Addiction doesn’t happen in a vacuum; it affects every aspect of an addict’s life from parents, siblings, and children to friends and work relationships. Too often family and friends put off talking to their loved one about their addiction and behavior out of dread.
The expectation of a confrontation, the anger, and the lashing-out is a worthy deterrent, even for those with the strongest of constitutions. Still, the problem will not just simply go away; nor is it likely to magically heal itself…
Continue reading the article: