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Breakdown
Somewhere life became a series of bad days. Then it became about how to try to make each bad day better as it happens. But the bad days just keep coming. Somewhere it became about how to keep believing in good days. How to believe in the good throughout the waiting. Waiting for everything. Waiting and still giving in to […]
Read MoreThe Internal Make-Up of Me
I find an atlas. I decide to break myself into four parts. All equal though a bit undefinable. Each part is one part of the whole. *** The Northern Hemisphere of Me Here is where I find an innate need for ‘knowing more,’ though I find its boundaries lacking. There is no assigned […]
Read MoreTethered
I remember playing it, that game the ball attached by a rope like a leash, redundant. Hitting something as hard as it could be hit, watching it spin, watching it continue. The impact didn’t matter, the result was the same – spinning, spinning. Never traveling farther than the already existing circumference. […]
Read MoreA Collection of Sorts
I collected some things as I went for a walk. It was just a collection of sorts. It was a collection that caused for a reflection of my life. It was there where I held two rocks. I held one in each hand. I felt the difference in their touch. One was rough, one was […]
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Watching Her
I watch her standing up there. She does it like it’s where she belongs. She’s laughing. She’s still laughing while she says, “I don’t know why but this is just something I have to do.” I don’t dare go near her. Standing across from her, I look straight down. I can’t guess how far it […]
Read MoreGetting Unstuck
When I was younger I took in everything around me. Not younger in childhood years, I don’t expect I was much different from anyone else. Having three sisters, we always found something to keep us busy. But as I grew into my teenage years and then into adulthood, I became a watcher. I watched everyone […]
Read MoreThe Irony I Found In My Coffee
I follow the same routine each morning. Every morning I get up and do the same damn thing. Today, it was the same. It was the same even though it was different. As a single Mom, I tend to question every step I take. I wonder if I’m doing the right things and teaching my […]
Read MoreShe Let Go
Somewhere there, between her beginning and her end, she got tired. It wasn’t the usual kind of tired. It wasn’t the empty kind of tired. She just came to a point where being tired was all she knew. She’d dreamed big enough for the world but was without resolve. It was there in her […]
Read MoreOn Becoming
I used to think that I had to be and do everything in a specific way, in a specific order. I used to think there was some chronological timeline that I was supposed to follow even though I had no idea what it was. I tried to live my life the way it was […]
Read MoreUnbearable
He came into the classroom I was assigned to, first thing this morning, just like he always does every other week he’s with his Dad. He tracks me down upon his arrival at school. This morning, he set his book bag down, took off his coat and tossed it near that pile he’d already started. […]
Read MoreInside and Out.
I’m not an addict. But I am in recovery. I’ve been around long enough to understand that most of us are in recovery, we are all recovering from something, in some way. My story involves depression, anxiety, codependency and abuse – but mainly depression. The abuse was the hardest when it was real. I’ll even […]
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