A lot of you in the community know who I am, but my own story is something I don’t share. I am not an addict, but I am in recovery. This is my story, my video, that I made for a class in the spring of 2016 while in grad school. Where words fail, art speaks. I have left this part of my life out of those that I converse with, and I have decided that it needs to be shared; hell my own family doesn’t know the truth about what I’ve experienced, not in its entirety. Going public about this is not easy.
When I came in to this community, I was less than six months out of a ten year relationship. I don’t share this for pity, or sympathy, and I don’t share it to create a monster out of my past…I share this so that others can be aware that damage is created on many levels, not just addiction. I suffer from severe lifelong depression, anxiety, and I am recovering from physical and emotional abuse as well as codependency. I’m a firm believer that you either possess compassion or you do not.
There is hope. You can heal. I spent many years changing my own mindset before leaving where I was. I am living proof that once you become aware of your own worth, there is nothing that will stand in your way from becoming the only person you can be: Yourself. Our pasts don’t define who we are, but they have everything to do with how we got to today. Don’t ever question why some people come into your life, or why some people don’t stay. Accept life as it unfolds and allows you to grow. The idea of what could be is what kept me heading in the direction that I needed to follow. I walk this life with my son. No one else has a claim on me.
I never planned on sharing this publicly. I have almost deleted it several times because I was conditioned to forgive and forget. What I ask that you take from my story is that there are real people in this community. Listening to what someone else assumes as truth, couldn’t be the farthest from the truth. Always consider your source.