Tue. Mar 26th, 2019

Sisters holding hands at sunset by the sea at Porteau Cove, BC, Canada

30’s


Little circle pills marked with a 30, snort a few and away goes the hurting.
Drown the pain with that numbing feeling, anything to avoid the unraveling of healing.
Healing the wounds you try so badly to bury, all this personal torment is just too much to carry.
So much trauma and torturous memories haunt you to your core, so you snort some pills and the pain disappears like it was never there before.
Until the high goes away and your left with your raw emotions, coming back to poison you like a deadly potion.
Soon your brain becomes dependant on those little pills, if you don’t have them your body hurts so bad it kills.
You will do anything to reach that numbness once more, you will steal, cheat and lie to get enough money to score.
You wonder what is wrong with you that you now need those 30’s, needing them so bad makes you feel dirty.
But you don’t give a damn you swallow your pride, in the numbness you have a safe place to hide.
Hide from the memories that taunt you every single day, for relief from the darkness your soul is a small price to pay.
The trauma is on repeat in your mind until it rips you apart, rock bottom is a good place to start.
Or so they say, but what do you do when you can’t find your beloved pills?You go and look for a new source of thrills.
Word on the street is there’s this Little Miss Herion who’s a scary beast, she consumes every soul she meets.
She’s the 30’s but 100 times stronger plus deadly, she kills thousands of people everyday very steadily.
Yet her charms of escaping the pain outshines the harm, so you say ok and willingly hold out your arm.
GAME OVER I got you now, and the only way you can escape me is six feet underground.
I will not stop until you are dead, I will consume your mind, body, soul and the thoughts in your head.
No matter how hard you try to deny Miss Herion her hooks dig deeper, you try to shake her but don’t you know she’s a keeper?
Little Miss Herion keeps you in her grasp so tight, taken over by the darkness; you will feel no hope for light.
Without her you are miserable and horribly sick, you will do anything including stealing your mom’s wallet to feel that needle’s prick.
When your high all the pain melts away and you feel numb, when the high wears off you feel like the lowest form of scum.
You hate yourself that you are this way, you didn’t know what the drugs would take away.
Little Miss Herion robbed you of your health, beauty, family and friends, You’re hurting so badly you just want this pain to end.
Aching, thriving in pain you have no time to give, all your time is spent searching for that next fix.
With each shot you are closer to death but who cares, you have beat an OD before, what is one more? 
So scared and embarrassed by your sickness that you try to hide it, anything you can to avoid having to quit.
The voice inside your head screams so loud that’s all you can hear, the devil is lurking behind you, always near.
You want to be better and you don’t know how it got this bad, addiction is something you never truly understand until it’s been had.
Feeling so lost and hopeless in a never ending battle, thinking of all your pain and trauma makes your brain rattle.
Rattling you to your core and your whole being, there has to be a solution you just aren’t seeing.
Feeling defeated you give in and let the devil take over, carrying this pain makes it impossible to stay sober.
You sell your body for cash, you cop some dope not knowing it’s your last.
This batch is fatal and unbeknownst to you, the poision stopped your heart and turned your body blue.
Your skin is cold, heart stopped beating, free of breath, this is not the fate you wanted, you never expected death. 
Slumped over in a car, a stranger notices you from afar.
They run to try to rescue you, but you are already gone.

Dead.

Gone to the world forever, the hearts of your family torn after the news, completely severed.
Leaving this world so unexpected and absurdly, who would’ve known this all started with a small circle pill marked with a 30?

Written by Lori Joscak